Is your house a mess?
There are many reasons why your house may be a mess right now.
You might have just moved out of your mum and dad's place for the first time, and the sheer weight of responsibility that comes with wearing the world on your shoulders could be just a little overwhelming right now.
You might have just literally moved house. Moving is always messy.
Or maybe you just don't like cleaning? If that's the case, it could be time to take a good hard look at yourself.
But more than likely you are just like me, and most other Australians, who are having a go at life - people who are pounding out daily responsibilities such as multiple jobs, kids, bills to pay, people to meet, and countless other mind numbing, sleep depriving, life testing tasks which make the daily grind literally a Daily. Grind.
If that is you - I want to tell you that everything is OK. It's OK to have a messy house. Here's 5 reasons why:
1. You are busy
Sometimes we forget that being busy can actually be a good thing. it means that you are hoping for and working towards something more. Something bigger than yourself.
It means that you are reaching beyond your capacity, stepping out, refusing to accept the status quo, and you are making the most of the cards you have been dealt. In short - your are leaving your mark on this world and making a difference.
Here's a thought - if you feel like you are succeeding, then your goals aren't big enough.
It takes a strong type of person to place themselves in a vulnerable position where they are forced to grow.
People like to feel confident, like they are winning, like they are something special - so they will stay in their comfort zone and never dare to venture out of it. Little do they realise that their fear of failure steals success before their very eyes. A big fish in a small pond lives in a small, satisfied, but very disappointing world.
If you are busy, my guess is that you are having a go at life, and stretching a little beyond your comfort zone. Take a bow my friend - you ought to be congratulated - because you are taking the path less traveled, precisely because it is the more difficult path to choose. So if your house is messy - just remember the real reason why - and that is because you are grabbing life by the horns and you are wrestling with it wholeheartedly. That takes guts.
2. There is life in the house
If you are like me, then the number one reason why your place is a mess is because you have small children. When you have small children, inanimate objects move. All. The. Time.
Nothing stays still.
Then when you go visit somebody who doesn't have little children, you marvel how the keys stay in the drawer, you wonder how the remote doesn't end up on the bathroom floor, you are dumbstruck by the thought that if you were to look under the cushions, on top of chairs, and in your shoes - you would find absolutely NO sultanas. None at all!
But when I do take my kids to my parent's house, they smile and laugh and actually enjoy the mess that is being created before their very eyes. They ENJOY it! And that's because to them, their house is finally alive once more.
Its easy to forgot what life looks like, but it is easily noticed when it disappears.
You see my parents have seven children. We grew up in a big house with many rooms and numerous hiding places. As a kid I would walk around my house and constantly find people everywhere. It was noisy, it was dynamic, it was a beautiful mess.
But now when I go to my parents house during the week it is eerily silent. Everyone has moved out and begun their own journeys. I walk around on my own and there is no laughter, no conversation, no arguing, yelling, or tears. Just quiet.
So I think I am beginning to understand why my parents like it when I bring my kids over to their place. It makes the house young again. The place becomes filled with joy, laughter, and love.
A messy house means the place is alive with messy children.
And as I reflect on this - I begin to thank God desperately for giving me something as beautiful as a messy house.
3. Somebody, somewhere, has discovered something
Ever visited your Grandmother and just started opening old cupboards and drawers? One man's trash really is the next man's treasure. My Grandma has old photos, old tools, old broken appliances, and old musty clothes - all with a colourful story to tell, all with a history that is interwoven with my story, and the story of my children.
This love of discovery is the very reason why children obsessively pull objects out of drawers, and cupboards, and sinks, and trashcans... don't judge me.
Every time a child pulls something out of a cupboard they walk with it along the hallway and begin to imagine that the paper clip in their hand is really the missing key to the secret room at the back of the garage, and that once they turn the key three times and say the magic word then the door will open to reveal mountains of hidden treasure, jewels, and gold. Then they will finally be able to take it all and afford to buy a 30 cent cone from McDonald's whenever they want.
Children learn from play. When children make a mess their neurons clash, connect, and form new ideas that lead to the foundation of understanding deep theoretical concepts that can only be revealed during humanity's unique pursuit of truth. Newton's Laws of Physics, Smith's 'Invisible Hand', and Einstein's theory of relativity are all messy ideas. But they all began in the messes of their baby play pen.
Just as I was writing these ideas down, my daughter, while sitting in my lap, reached across the table, grabbed a piece of cake, and instead of eating it - decided to pull it apart and feel the texture of the cake in her fingers. My daughter knows how to make a mess, but the mess she makes now, is just the start of something beautiful later.
4. There is a time for mess
Mess is cyclical. It happens, then it gets cleaned, then it happens again, and then - yep, you guessed it, it will get cleaned again. Mess happens day in and day out. It happens on the workshop floor, it happens on your desk, it happens in your car. But wherever mess happens, it will get cleaned up.
We never clean up mess thinking it will never happen again. In fact, we clean up the mess in spite of knowing that it will happen again. And happen soon.
We always clean our house when we know that we will be having guests. We take our time. We do it properly. We make everything neat and tidy. In fact the house looks better for our guests than it ever will for just us. We pour a whole lot of energy into cleaning our house knowing full well that during the visit the house will get messy again, and will immediately require cleaning again.
There is a season for everything. “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-3 NLT
I sometimes catch myself just following my kids around picking things up literally as they have just dropped it. While I am cleaning up the mess they have just made, they take four steps and make another mess. Right there and then. The worst part is this will happen four times in a row - and I catch myself and realise that I am wasting everybody's time. There is a time for mess, and a time for cleaning.
As humans we have taken too much liberty in our ability to impact an outcome, and we have lost our appreciation for the seasons. There are times in this life where we need to learn to wait.
But we resist. We need a solution, and we need it now. Am I hungry? I will just drive through and get something now. Am I unhealthy? I can just buy some artificial stimulants to prop up my body now. Am I poor? I can just tap into my line of credit now. Is my Industry at risk? The government can intervene and stimulate it now.
Some things were meant to take time - and we need to take time for some things. We need to lean into the seasons and ride the waves that take us up and down. Stop taking shortcuts and embrace the journey. Surfers know when it is the right time to stand up on the board and lean into the wave. Its all a matter of timing.
There is a time for mess, and we need to embrace that time and put it to its proper use. At these times we need to pause and enjoy the moment.
And there is a time for cleaning. Cleaning can be tedious, it is routine work - but it is a known. We can measure how long it takes to clean, and then we can factor a buffer into our day to get the job done. Knowledge gives us confidence, confidence motivates us, motivation energises us. We can then do everything well, at the right time, in the right season.
5. Mess is an opportunity
Mess is an opportunity to make a difference in your house, and it is also an opportunity to teach our kids responsibilities.
But mess can also be an opportunity to make a real difference in your life.
If you are choosing not to clean because there is a harder and more important task that needs doing - you are fighting a battle in your mind. And you are winning.
The battle of 'self-talk' is one of the most important battles we will ever face. And this battle always occurs when life is at its toughest moment. When times are tough the mind can become messy and confusing. It can be hard to know what is right and what is wrong. Confidence ebbs and wains, emotions rise and fall.
The people who win the battle of self-talk are those who have a clear picture of the future that produces passion. They have vision. And when the going gets tough they simply lean back onto that vision and let the vision make the choice for them.
So a messy house is a good thing, because if you know the house is messy - then it is clearly bothering you. And if you are clearly bothered by it but you are compelled NOT to clean up the house because you are currently working on a higher priority - then that messy house is teaching you one of the most powerful lessons you could ever learn - perspective.
Nothing brings up the value of a choice like the price paid for it.
Life is messy
Quite frankly - life itself is messy. No matter how hard you try, the best plans always come undone. There will always be the unexpected bill that arrives, there will always be the car that brakes down, and there will always be the sickness and virus that hits your family like a freight train.
Life. Can. Be. Messy.
And that's a good thing, because sometimes the most beautiful things are messy.
Art is messy. It never really made much sense to me. For the first 30 years of my life I often looked at art as just a bunch of stuff thrown together.
Pointless. Wasteful. Messy.
But now when I look at art, I see how beautiful it is.
Life can be messy - but that's the beauty of it.
The sun always shines brighter after a rainy week. When the lows are low, the highs get higher. And you never really, truly, know how much you have - until you have lost it.
Life can be messy. But messy can be beautiful.
Lean in.
What are some of the random places your kids have left things? I'd love it if you left a Comment Below.
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