One recent morning, Mary and I had the kids in the car doing the school run, and as usual the pressure was on. Ever since Mary started studying full time, I have had the opportunity to do the school run some mornings. I have a love hate relationship with the school run. It is great being able to spend more time with the kids, but mornings have always been hectic, and now I have an extra four humans to get ready for the day.
This particular morning was nothing too special, we were just following the normal chaotic routine:
Wake the kids up,
feed them breakfast,
wake Joshie up again,
get the kids dressed,
feed Joshie,
get the kids lunches packed,
find Joshie’s shorts,
get the kids to pack their bags,
get ready myself,
wake Joshie up again,
put Joshie’s shorts on for him,
find Joshie’s homework bag,
load the kids up into the car,
find Joshie’s shoes,
put Joshie into the car,
grab a banana for breakfast,
get in the car,
send Joshie back into the house to get his shoes,
start driving,
turn back five minutes later because Joshie forgot a shoe… it was a normal school run.
But as usual the pressure was on - we were five minutes behind schedule and I was determined to make up the five minutes through some efficient driving.
Mary doesn’t like my efficient driving, she tends to describe it as ‘aggressive’ driving.
The kids were in the back playing - loudly - which meant a fight was about to break out. So we raised our voices so the kids could hear us and told them to settle down. Mary and I were tense because we were planning our week and there were some tight deadlines. It’s tricky negotiating traffic and ‘who is going to pick the kids up from school?’ at the same time.
The kids began to fight.
The P-Plater in front of me had just spent literally 35 seconds waiting at the round-about with no cars coming. Were they on their phone?
Joshie started to cry, Isaac had taken his toy. Mary had just proven to me why I needed to be the one to pick the kids up from school.
I could feel my chest tightening. The P-Plater began to move, I looked to my right and I had just enough time to merge before that speeding car arrived.
Mary screamed!
I looked forward and saw that the P-Plater had stopped. I slammed the brakes on and we screeched to a halt - just inches before we touched their ‘Live in Peace and Love’ bumper sticker.
The kids became quiet.
Mary began to excitedly give me some advice on how I could improve my driving.
I realised I had stopped breathing - so I took a deep breath and my only thought at the time was ‘How was I going to respond to this?’
Everybody has things happen to them, but it isn’t the events in our life that define us - it’s how we respond to them that defines us.
This reminds me of a story of a rich and successful businessman. The businessman had spent much of his life not only building a great company - but he was also recognised for his work in the community. He had built shelters for the poor, he would serve soup to the homeless, and he was renowned for his generosity.
One day a reporter heard that the businessman had a long lost twin brother, and so after doing some investigation he found the brother living in another city - so he went to interview him. When the reporter met the twin he was shocked to discover he was living on the street and homeless, the twin was also addicted to drugs and alcohol. The reporter was stunned and asked the twin, “how did you end up like this?”
The twin just snarled and scoffed back, “my father ended up on the street, he spent his life making love to a bottle, and every night he would abuse his kids - how did you expect me to turn out?”
After spending a few hours with the twin the reporter returned home and the next day made an appointment to see the rich businessman. As he sat down he asked him, “sir - how did you end up like this?”
The businessman looked at him kindly and said softly, “my father ended up on the street, he spent his life making love to a bottle, and every night he would abuse his kids - how did you expect me to turn out?”
Stephen Covey says that one of the greatest gifts we have is the ability to respond. We are Response-able.
So this year I have been intentional about how I respond to the events in my life. How will I respond to things like when the school-run gets stressful?
One of the best things I have done is to prepare my response in advance. Mary and I have found that the best way to start the day is the night before. Wash the kids uniforms and have them laid out, pack the kids lunches and leave them in the fridge overnight, and make sure we have the little things like enough milk and bread for breakfast.
But the best thing I have begun to do is to prepare my heart’s response. I know that the kids are going to fight and argue, I know there will be traffic, I know we will still be running late - so I have begun to preempt these events and think about how I will act when they happen.
I am proud to say that after nearly hitting that P-Plater I took a minute to breath and calm my heart and head, and then I apologised.
I apologised to Mary. I apologised to the kids. And most importantly I apologised to God. Then I thanked Him for giving me another chance.
How is your school run? Share your story below.
No comments:
Post a Comment